Learning How to Stay
For the first time since arriving at Blackwood University, Lucas Reed stopped feeling emotionally lost.
Not completely.
Guilt still lingered quietly inside him every time he thought about Hailey Brooks, and honestly, he suspected part of that guilt would remain for a very long time.
But beneath the sadness, beneath the complicated ache of hurting someone good, another feeling finally settled clearly inside his chest.
Peace.
And somehow, that peace always appeared around Ava Monroe.
The realization still terrified him slightly.
Because Lucas had spent most of his life believing loneliness was permanent, like something woven naturally into who he was. Even before college, even surrounded by people, he always carried this quiet distance inside himself.
Then Ava arrived quietly into his life and somehow made silence feel less empty.
God.
How was he supposed to survive loving someone like that?
The next few weeks passed slowly, gently, like the emotional storm around them finally started calming after months of chaos.
Autumn deepened across the city outside campus. Trees turned gold and amber while cold mornings wrapped Blackwood University in fog and soft gray skies.
Lucas and Ava fell into routines naturally.
Morning coffee before classes.
Late nights in the library sitting beside each other instead of across from one another now.
Quiet walks back toward the dorm buildings after midnight while the city lights glowed softly beyond campus streets.
Nothing dramatic.
Nothing loud.
And honestly?
That made it feel more real.
One Thursday evening, rain drifted softly through the campus while Lucas and Ava sat together near the back corner of the library, sharing headphones quietly while pretending to study.
Or rather, Ava studied.
Lucas mostly watched her.
God.
He still couldn’t believe someone this thoughtful existed.
Ava noticed him staring eventually without lifting her eyes from the textbook.
“You’ve been looking at me for like five straight minutes.”
Lucas leaned slightly against his hand.
“You’re pretty.”
Ava immediately looked up, visibly caught off guard despite the softness already growing familiar between them lately.
“You can’t just say things like that randomly.”
“Why not?”
“Because,” she laughed softly under her breath, “my heart literally doesn’t know how to process normal affection yet.”
The honesty inside her voice made his chest ache gently.
Lucas reached over slowly before brushing his fingers lightly against hers resting near the notebook.
“Well,” he murmured quietly, “guess we’re teaching it.”
God.
The way Ava looked at him afterward nearly destroyed him emotionally.
Like tenderness itself still surprised her.
Silence settled warmly between them again while rain tapped softly against the windows nearby.
Then suddenly Ava whispered:
“You know what’s weird?”
Lucas raised an eyebrow slightly.
“What?”
“I used to think love would feel loud.”
He frowned slightly.
“What does it feel like instead?”
Ava’s gray eyes softened while looking at him.
“Safe.”
God.
Lucas physically felt that word inside his chest.
Because somehow she described exactly what loving her felt like too.
Not fireworks.
Not chaos.
Relief.
Like finding warmth after spending too long cold.
Without fully thinking about it, Lucas leaned forward and kissed her softly.
Ava smiled against his mouth almost immediately.
And God.
Every kiss with her still felt like something quietly important.
When they pulled apart, Ava rested her forehead lightly against his shoulder afterward.
Comfortable.
Trusting.
Lucas realized then that she touched him differently now compared to before.
Less hesitant.
Like she was slowly unlearning the expectation that affection always disappeared eventually.
The thought nearly shattered him.
He wrapped an arm carefully around her while she stayed close beside him beneath the dim library lights.
Then quietly, Ava admitted:
“I still keep waiting for you to wake up one day and realize I’m harder to love than you thought.”
Lucas’s chest tightened immediately.
He turned slightly toward her.
“Ava.”
“No, I know it sounds stupid.”
“It doesn’t sound stupid.” His voice softened completely. “It sounds like someone hurt you enough that your brain expects people to leave.”
The silence after that sentence felt emotional somehow.
Because Lucas understood her now.
Not just the quiet parts.
The scared parts too.
Ava looked down briefly while twisting the sleeve of her sweater between her fingers.
“You know what scares me most?” she whispered.
“What?”
“That one day you’ll miss her.”
God.
The honesty in her voice physically hurt.
Lucas knew exactly who she meant without hearing the name aloud.
Hailey.
The girl who loved him loudly.
The girl who lost him quietly.
Lucas exhaled slowly before answering carefully.
“I’ll always care about her.”
Ava nodded once softly, like she expected that truth already.
Then Lucas gently tilted her chin upward until her eyes met his again.
“But caring about her isn’t the same thing as wishing I chose differently.”
The emotion that crossed Ava’s face afterward nearly ruined him completely.
Because suddenly Lucas realized nobody had ever reassured her this carefully before.
Ava looked at him silently for several long seconds.
Then softly, almost shakily:
“How do you always know what to say?”
Lucas laughed quietly under his breath.
“I definitely don’t.”
“You do with me.”
God.
That sentence settled deeply inside him.
Because maybe love wasn’t about perfect words.
Maybe it was simply about paying attention long enough to learn what someone’s heart needed most.
Ava reached for his hand slowly afterward, intertwining their fingers against the wooden library table.
Warm.
Steady.
Real.
Then softly, with the smallest smile touching her lips, she whispered:
“You know you ruined me for emotionally unavailable men forever, right?”
Lucas laughed quietly.
“Good.”
Ava smiled wider after that, and God, seeing her genuinely happy still felt unreal sometimes.
Because this girl spent so much of her life preparing herself for rejection.
Now she smiled like someone finally learning she was worth staying for.
And honestly?
Lucas planned to spend a very long time proving she was right.