The Kiss He Couldn’t Forget
Lucas Reed barely slept that night.
Rain hammered endlessly against the dorm windows while campus lights blurred softly through darkness outside, but none of it drowned out the memory replaying over and over inside his head.
Hailey kissing him.
The warmth of it.
The sadness inside it.
And worst of all—
the fact he kissed her back.
Even if only for a second.
God.
Lucas sat on the edge of his bed around three in the morning rubbing tiredly at his face while guilt slowly consumed him from the inside out.
Because the second the kiss happened…
his first thought afterward was Ava.
That realization made him feel like a terrible person.
He cared about Hailey. Deeply enough that seeing her cry physically hurt him. Deeply enough that her kiss still lingered beneath his skin hours later.
But Ava still existed inside his heart too.
Quietly.
Constantly.
And Lucas no longer knew what that said about him.
His phone buzzed softly beside him.
A message from Hailey.
Hailey:
Pretend tonight didn’t scare you away.
God.
The vulnerability hidden inside those words nearly ruined him.
Lucas stared at the screen for several long seconds before typing slowly.
Lucas:
You didn’t scare me.
Three dots appeared immediately.
Then disappeared.
Then finally:
Good.
Another pause.
Goodnight, Rain Boy.
Lucas looked at the message while exhaustion settled heavily inside his chest.
Because somehow even after crying over him, Hailey still tried making things easier for him emotionally.
And honestly?
That only made him care about her more.
Which was exactly the problem.
The next day, Blackwood University looked washed clean after the storm.
Sunlight filtered softly through wet trees while students crowded sidewalks enjoying the sudden warmth after days of rain.
Lucas felt emotionally dead already.
Mostly because he knew avoiding Ava today would make him a coward.
But facing her felt almost worse.
By noon, guilt finally drove him toward the library anyway.
Of course she was there.
Ava Monroe sat near the back window wearing headphones while highlighting notes across an open psychology textbook.
The sight alone calmed him slightly.
And somehow that made everything more painful.
Ava looked up the second he approached.
Immediately she noticed something was wrong.
“You look awful.”
Lucas sat heavily across from her.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Usually her dry responses made him smile faintly.
Today, he barely reacted.
Ava slowly lowered her pen afterward.
“What happened?”
The concern in her voice twisted painfully through him.
Because suddenly Lucas realized he hated the idea of hurting her almost as much as he hated hurting Hailey.
God.
This was impossible.
For several seconds he stayed silent.
Then quietly:
“She kissed me.”
There it was.
Spoken aloud.
Ava froze completely.
Not dramatically.
Just still.
Painfully still.
The silence afterward felt crushing.
Lucas watched emotion flicker briefly across her face before she forced calmness back into place.
“When?”
“Last night.”
Ava nodded once slowly.
Looking down at her notebook instead of him.
And somehow that tiny movement hurt more than anger would’ve.
Lucas leaned forward slightly.
“Ava…”
“Did you kiss her back?”
The question came softly.
Too softly.
God.
Lucas closed his eyes briefly.
Because there was no safe answer anymore.
“Yes.”
The word nearly shattered the air between them.
Ava inhaled slowly afterward.
And for the first time since meeting her…
Lucas saw real heartbreak reach the surface completely.
Not hidden.
Not controlled.
Just pain.
God.
Immediately guilt crashed violently through his chest.
“It wasn’t like—”
“Please don’t explain it.”
The quiet crack in her voice ruined him instantly.
Ava looked away toward the rain-clean campus outside the windows while fighting visibly to keep herself emotionally together.
Lucas had never seen her like this before.
Never seen her lose composure.
And honestly?
That terrified him.
Because Ava always carried herself carefully. Calmly. Like emotions existed behind locked doors nobody else reached.
Now Lucas realized he somehow became important enough to hurt her anyway.
“You like her,” Ava whispered finally.
The sentence wasn’t angry.
That made it worse.
Lucas rubbed tiredly at the back of his neck.
“I don’t know what I’m feeling.”
A faint painful laugh escaped her.
“You kissed her.”
“I know.”
“And you still came here looking guilty about me.”
God.
The accuracy of that nearly stopped his heartbeat.
Ava finally looked back at him then.
Her gray eyes looked heartbreakingly tired.
“You know what the worst part is?” she whispered softly.
Lucas stayed silent.
“I don’t even think you’re trying to hurt us.”
The sadness in her voice physically ached inside his chest.
Because she understood him too well.
Even now.
Especially now.
Lucas leaned forward instinctively.
“I never wanted this to happen.”
“I know.”
“No, Ava, I mean—”
“You care about both of us.” She swallowed hard. “That’s the problem.”
Silence settled heavily between them afterward.
Because there was no denying it anymore.
Not after the kiss.
Not after the guilt.
Not after the way Lucas looked at Ava right now like losing her would destroy him too.
Ava slowly closed her notebook.
Then softly:
“You should probably choose her.”
The sentence hit him like physical pain.
“What?”
Ava forced a faint smile that looked fragile enough to break apart completely.
“She’s brave enough to love you out loud.” Her voice trembled slightly. “I’m not.”
God.
Lucas stood immediately.
“No.”
The force in his voice startled both of them slightly.
Ava looked up at him carefully.
Lucas stared down at her while emotions twisted violently inside his chest.
“You don’t get to decide what I feel for me.”
The air between them changed instantly.
Something deeper.
More dangerous.
Ava’s breathing became uneven almost immediately afterward.
Because for one terrible second…
hope flickered visibly across her face.
And Lucas saw it.
God.
He saw it.
The realization shattered him quietly.
Because suddenly he understood exactly how fragile this situation had become.
One wrong word could make either girl fall harder.
One choice could completely break the other.
Ava looked away first.
“You should hate me,” she whispered.
Lucas frowned immediately.
“What?”
“For wanting you anyway.”
The sentence destroyed something inside him.
Because there it was.
The quiet truth she’d been hiding all along.
Ava wasn’t trying to steal him away from Hailey.
She was trying desperately not to love him at all.
And somehow that hurt worse.
Lucas moved around the table slowly before stopping beside her chair.
Ava looked up instinctively.
Too close.
Way too close.
For one suspended heartbeat, neither moved.
Lucas could hear his own pulse now.
Could see the emotion trembling carefully beneath her calm expression.
And suddenly—
suddenly he wanted to kiss her too.
God.
The realization terrified him.
Because that meant the problem wasn’t confusion anymore.
The problem was real.
He was genuinely falling for both girls.
Ava noticed the exact moment that realization hit him.
Of course she did.
And somehow, the heartbreak in her eyes deepened afterward instead of fading.
“There it is,” she whispered painfully.
Lucas barely breathed. “What?”
“The moment you realized I’m not imagining this either.”
Silence.
Heavy.
Dangerous silence.
Then slowly, carefully, Ava stood from her chair.
The movement brought them even closer accidentally.
Close enough that Lucas caught the soft scent of lavender from her sweater.
Close enough that her eyes looked impossibly vulnerable now.
And quietly, almost like a confession she hated herself for, Ava whispered:
“If you kiss me too… none of us are surviving this.”ngle.