The Kiss He Couldn’t Forget
Lucas Reed barely slept that night.
Rain hammered endlessly against the dorm windows while campus lights blurred softly through darkness outside, but none of it drowned out the memory replaying over and over inside his head.
Hailey kissing him.
The warmth of it.
The sadness inside it.
And worst of all—
the fact he kissed her back.
Even if only for a second.
God.
Lucas sat on the edge of his bed around three in the morning rubbing tiredly at his face while guilt slowly consumed him from the inside out.
Because the second the kiss happened…
his first thought afterward was Ava.
That realization made him feel like a terrible person.
He cared about Hailey. Deeply enough that seeing her cry physically hurt him. Deeply enough that her kiss still lingered beneath his skin hours later.
But Ava still existed inside his heart too.
Quietly.
Constantly.
And Lucas no longer knew what that said about him.
His phone buzzed softly beside him.
A message from Hailey.
Hailey:
Pretend tonight didn’t scare you away.
God.
The vulnerability hidden inside those words nearly ruined him.
Lucas stared at the screen for several long seconds before typing slowly.
Lucas:
You didn’t scare me.
Three dots appeared immediately.
Then disappeared.
Then finally:
Good.
Another pause.
Goodnight, Rain Boy.
Lucas looked at the message while exhaustion settled heavily inside his chest.
Because somehow even after crying over him, Hailey still tried making things easier for him emotionally.
And honestly?
That only made him care about her more.
Which was exactly the problem.
The next day, Blackwood University looked washed clean after the storm.
Sunlight filtered softly through wet trees while students crowded sidewalks enjoying the sudden warmth after days of rain.
Lucas felt emotionally dead already.
Mostly because he knew avoiding Ava today would make him a coward.
But facing her felt almost worse.
By noon, guilt finally drove him toward the library anyway.
Of course she was there.
Ava Monroe sat near the back window wearing headphones while highlighting notes across an open psychology textbook.
The sight alone calmed him slightly.
And somehow that made everything more painful.
Ava looked up the second he approached.
Immediately she noticed something was wrong.
“You look awful.”
Lucas sat heavily across from her.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Usually her dry responses made him smile faintly.
Today, he barely reacted.
Ava slowly lowered her pen afterward.
“What happened?”
The concern in her voice twisted painfully through him.
Because suddenly Lucas realized he hated the idea of hurting her almost as much as he hated hurting Hailey.
God.
This was impossible.
For several seconds he stayed silent.
Then quietly:
“She kissed me.”
There it was.
Spoken aloud.
Ava froze completely.
Not dramatically.
Just still.
Painfully still.
The silence afterward felt crushing.
Lucas watched emotion flicker briefly across her face before she forced calmness back into place.
“When?”
“Last night.”
Ava nodded once slowly.
Looking down at her notebook instead of him.
And somehow that tiny movement hurt more than anger would’ve.
Lucas leaned forward slightly.
“Ava…”
“Did you kiss her back?”
The question came softly.
Too softly.
God.
Lucas closed his eyes briefly.
Because there was no safe answer anymore.
“Yes.”
The word nearly shattered the air between them.
Ava inhaled slowly afterward.
And for the first time since meeting her…
Lucas saw real heartbreak reach the surface completely.
Not hidden.
Not controlled.
Just pain.
God.
Immediately guilt crashed violently through his chest.
“It wasn’t like—”
“Please don’t explain it.”
The quiet crack in her voice ruined him instantly.
Ava looked away toward the rain-clean campus outside the windows while fighting visibly to keep herself emotionally together.
Lucas had never seen her like this before.
Never seen her lose composure.
And honestly?
That terrified him.
Because Ava always carried herself carefully. Calmly. Like emotions existed behind locked doors nobody else reached.
Now Lucas realized he somehow became important enough to hurt her anyway.
“You like her,” Ava whispered finally.
The sentence wasn’t angry.
That made it worse.
Lucas rubbed tiredly at the back of his neck.
“I don’t know what I’m feeling.”
A faint painful laugh escaped her.
“You kissed her.”
“I know.”
“And you still came here looking guilty about me.”
God.
The accuracy of that nearly stopped his heartbeat.
Ava finally looked back at him then.
Her gray eyes looked heartbreakingly tired.
“You know what the worst part is?” she whispered softly.
Lucas stayed silent.
“I don’t even think you’re trying to hurt us.”
The sadness in her voice physically ached inside his chest.
Because she understood him too well.
Even now.
Especially now.
Lucas leaned forward instinctively.
“I never wanted this to happen.”
“I know.”
“No, Ava, I mean—”
“You care about both of us.” She swallowed hard. “That’s the problem.”
Silence settled heavily between them afterward.
Because there was no denying it anymore.
Not after the kiss.
Not after the guilt.
Not after the way Lucas looked at Ava right now like losing her would destroy him too.
Ava slowly closed her notebook.
Then softly:
“You should probably choose her.”
The sentence hit him like physical pain.
“What?”
Ava forced a faint smile that looked fragile enough to break apart completely.
“She’s brave enough to love you out loud.” Her voice trembled slightly. “I’m not.”
God.
Lucas stood immediately.
“No.”
The force in his voice startled both of them slightly.
Ava looked up at him carefully.
Lucas stared down at her while emotions twisted violently inside his chest.
“You don’t get to decide what I feel for me.”
The air between them changed instantly.
Something deeper.
More dangerous.
Ava’s breathing became uneven almost immediately afterward.
Because for one terrible second…
hope flickered visibly across her face.
And Lucas saw it.
God.
He saw it.
The realization shattered him quietly.
Because suddenly he understood exactly how fragile this situation had become.
One wrong word could make either girl fall harder.
One choice could completely break the other.
Ava looked away first.
“You should hate me,” she whispered.
Lucas frowned immediately.
“What?”
“For wanting you anyway.”
The sentence destroyed something inside him.
Because there it was.
The quiet truth she’d been hiding all along.
Ava wasn’t trying to steal him away from Hailey.
She was trying desperately not to love him at all.
And somehow that hurt worse.
Lucas moved around the table slowly before stopping beside her chair.
Ava looked up instinctively.
Too close.
Way too close.
For one suspended heartbeat, neither moved.
Lucas could hear his own pulse now.
Could see the emotion trembling carefully beneath her calm expression.
And suddenly—
suddenly he wanted to kiss her too.
God.
The realization terrified him.
Because that meant the problem wasn’t confusion anymore.
The problem was real.
He was genuinely falling for both girls.
Ava noticed the exact moment that realization hit him.
Of course she did.
And somehow, the heartbreak in her eyes deepened afterward instead of fading.
“There it is,” she whispered painfully.
Lucas barely breathed. “What?”
“The moment you realized I’m not imagining this either.”
Silence.
Heavy.
Dangerous silence.
Then slowly, carefully, Ava stood from her chair.
The movement brought them even closer accidentally.
Close enough that Lucas caught the soft scent of lavender from her sweater.
Close enough that her eyes looked impossibly vulnerable now.
And quietly, almost like a confession she hated herself for, Ava whispered:
“If you kiss me too… none of us are surviving this.”ngle.The Line He Crossed
For three entire seconds after Ava Monroe whispered those words, Lucas Reed forgot how to breathe properly.
The library suddenly felt too quiet.
Too small.
Too warm.
Rainlight spilled softly across bookshelves while distant students whispered somewhere far away, completely unaware that Lucas’s entire emotional stability was collapsing beside the psychology section.
If you kiss me too… none of us are surviving this.
God.
The terrifying part was that he wanted to.
Not abstractly.
Not hypothetically.
Right now.
And somehow that realization shook him harder than anything else so far.
Because kissing Hailey could still be explained away emotionally. Confusion. Vulnerability. A heartbreaking moment during a storm.
But this?
This was different.
This was choice.
Lucas stared at Ava standing inches away from him while her gray eyes searched his expression almost fearfully now.
Like she already knew exactly what he was thinking.
Of course she did.
Ava noticed everything.
“Lucas,” she whispered softly.
The sound of his name in her voice nearly destroyed the last functioning part of his self-control.
He should step back.
He knew that.
He should say something responsible and emotionally mature and stop this before things became even worse.
Instead—
his eyes dropped briefly toward her mouth.
And the second it happened, Ava’s breathing visibly changed.
God.
The tension between them became immediate.
Sharp.
Painfully real.
“You need to stop looking at me like that,” Ava murmured shakily.
Lucas swallowed hard.
“How am I looking at you?”
A faint broken laugh escaped her.
“Like you’re trying to decide something dangerous.”
The honesty in her voice shattered him quietly.
Because she was right.
He was.
Lucas closed his eyes briefly before forcing himself one step backward.
The movement visibly affected Ava too.
Relief and disappointment flickered across her face at exactly the same time.
God.
This was becoming unbearable.
“I don’t want to hurt either of you,” he admitted quietly.
Ava’s expression softened immediately.
“I know.”
“No, I really mean it.” Lucas rubbed tiredly at his forehead. “Hailey kissed me and all I could think about afterward was you.” His voice cracked slightly. “And now I’m here with you thinking about kissing you too.” He laughed weakly at himself. “What kind of person does that make me?”
The pain inside his voice visibly hurt her.
Ava looked down briefly before whispering:
“A confused one.”
“Or selfish.”
“No.” She shook her head softly. “Selfish people don’t look this guilty.”
God.
Why did she always understand him so gently?
Lucas stared at her helplessly.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
The vulnerability in his voice settled heavily between them.
And suddenly Ava looked heartbroken all over again.
Because that was the problem.
Lucas wasn’t choosing between two girls casually.
He genuinely cared about them both.
And honestly?
That made this entire situation infinitely worse.
Ava slowly sat back down in her chair afterward while wrapping her arms around herself slightly.
Like she suddenly felt cold.
Lucas hated the distance immediately.
“You should go talk to her,” Ava whispered eventually.
The sentence physically hurt him.
“Why are you saying that like you’re giving me away?”
Ava froze slightly after hearing it.
Then looked up at him carefully.
And God—
the emotion in her eyes nearly ruined him completely.
“Because maybe I already lost before this even started.”
The sadness in her voice shattered something inside his chest.
Lucas moved toward her again instinctively before crouching slightly beside her chair.
“Ava…”
She looked away immediately.
“I hate this.”
“So do I.”
“No.” A faint painful laugh escaped her. “You don’t understand.” Her voice softened into something almost fragile. “I spent my whole life being the girl people almost choose.”
God.
The sentence hit him like a knife directly through the ribs.
Because suddenly everything about Ava made more sense.
The emotional distance.
The carefulness.
The way she seemed prepared for heartbreak before anything even happened.
Lucas stared at her quietly while guilt and something deeper twisted painfully together inside his chest.
“You think I’m going to leave too.”
Ava smiled faintly without humor.
“Statistically? Probably.”
The joke hurt more than if she’d cried.
Lucas reached for her hand before fully thinking about it.
This time, Ava let him.
Warm fingers intertwined quietly beneath library light while rain tapped softly against the windows.
And somehow that tiny contact felt more intimate than the kiss with Hailey.
God.
That realization terrified him.
Ava looked down at their hands silently.
Then whispered:
“This is already unfair to her.”
Lucas knew.
That was the worst part.
Hailey cared about him openly. Fearlessly. She kissed him because she loved him enough to risk rejection completely.
Meanwhile here he was holding another girl’s hand behind library shelves while emotionally falling apart.
The guilt became unbearable.
Lucas slowly let go afterward.
Immediately the warmth disappeared.
Ava noticed too.
Of course she did.
Then suddenly she stood carefully before gathering her books against her chest again.
“I should leave.”
Lucas looked up quickly.
“Ava wait.”
She hesitated.
And God, he hated how sad she looked right now.
“How do I fix this?” he whispered helplessly.
The question visibly hurt her.
Because there was no answer.
Not anymore.
Finally Ava smiled softly.
Not happily.
Just gently.
“You can’t.”
Silence.
Then quieter:
“Someone’s heart breaks no matter what you choose now.”
The truth in those words settled heavily through the space between them.
Lucas looked at her standing beneath dim library lights and suddenly realized something terrifying.
He was going to remember this moment forever.
The exact second things became irreversible.
Ava adjusted her books slowly before walking past him toward the staircase.
But just before disappearing completely—
she stopped.
Looked back once.
And softly admitted the thing Lucas already knew anyway:
“I really wish I met you first.”
Then she walked away.
Leaving Lucas standing alone beside empty library tables while guilt hollowed slowly through his chest.
Because suddenly, for the first time since arriving at Blackwood University…
he understood the full weight of what was happening.
This wasn’t college flirting anymore.
This wasn’t confusion anymore.
Three hearts were genuinely involved now.
And somehow…
he was already breaking all of them.